Amazing

It seems so long ago that I started blogging... Sometime in the early 2000's by the looks of the history of this thing. Obviously I haven't posted anything in a LONG time, but after a little bit of thought and some careful calculation, I have decided to get back on the Horse---er, I mean blog.
The Plan: Post a letter of the alphabet and a picture that corresponds every post--lets be real, I am soo not going to be posting every day. Maybe with some meaning behind it... at least it will give me a starting point to see if now is a good time to get back into blogging, and an opportunity to look at some of the other aspects of my life that wont stress me out.
Without further ado: A
So for A I have picked a picture depicting Awareness.
This morning I had a doctors appointment--not my favourite of places to visit. But this new doctor seems pretty great--I mean, I obviously LOVE food and have more than a bit of a weight problem... but I don't get told that these are the things that define me. He is aware that there is more to me than just labels, that underneath is a person. The process today also made me aware that at nearly 33 years old, I need to do something. I am educated enough that I cannot keep pulling the wool over my eyes. I am stable--ish enough that I need to create new routines, only I can make these changes for me--NO ONE ELSE is going to, or can be expected to. Not sure where this is going to get me--but I became very very aware of this today.

Inventory of Being

I am Natasha.
I am 25 years old, a quarter of a century!!
I am a person who makes mistakes often, loves people deeply, makes life changes frequently, and is thankful for Gods peace always.

When I stand next to my brothers it is not as evident as it once was that I am the oldest. But I still get to hold the "princess" title in the family. I have hazel eyes that change to either green or brown depending on my mood. I have shortish brown hair, that was bleached and turned pink.(in spots, but not like a leopard)

I have been through and learned from many trial and tribulations, conquered disasters and relied on friends and family to get me through.(to these people many thanks!!)

I love Margie's butterscotch-peanut butter-marshmallow- fudge, bbq's with friends, Melissa's chili and Mom's veggie bars.

I am a daughter.
I am an older sister.
I am a granddaughter.
I am a niece.
I am a cousin.
I am a friend.
I am a roommate.
I am a neighbour.
I am a baker.
I am a lamb among the wolves.

I love s'mores by the fire and seeing the sights from the top of the Ozarks.

I enjoy living in Hamilton, but have found a lot of hate in my heart for "Steel City".

I love comfy chairs and pillows, hard wood floors and beautiful windows. I could not live in the hills but have found that across the universe is where my dreams lie.

I believe that people have the right to dream, and dream big. I hope that the changes being made in society today are changes that will continue the hopes and dreams for a future generation not squash them.

I am excited to live in a pocket, that is to live in a neighbourhood where deep community can take place.

I believe that the journey of 1,00 miles must begin with the first step, and am grateful that unlike Jesus I can travel those miles in funky footwear! I think that we as people need to be more conscience of what we are being and where it is coming from. That we need to be reminded that Jesus (the biggest gift we will ever be given) was born into shit and still managed to bring Shalom to a world that desperately needs it.

One twillighted night changed my life. It brought me back down to the skin and bones of whats important in life.

I am trying to establish boundaries in relationships that are not healthy; and am finding it very hard to stick to my guns.

I love my mom. I have a good one and am lucky to still have her be apart of my life. Someone who I lean on, cry to, complain to and admire. It is through friends loss that I realize just how truly lucky I am. To her, I love you, to them, I love you!

I again slept in a park one dark knight with a smile on my face. Trying to help bring attention to the very real concern of homelessness in Hamilton.

I have been supported and loved much this year, and need to be reminded that there is not measure in this love, no paybacks; just simply to love and support others in return.

I am thankful to many nameless and named people for protecting my country and my freedom.
I know that it is not just their lives that they put at risk, but the lives also of their families. But I still hope to hear one day that war is over, peace found and love lived in every ones hearts not hate.

I stood under the mistletoe waiting to be kissed, but alas my prince did not come. So I wait knowing that when it happens it will happen and loving living life in the meantime.

I realize that this year pretty much changed everything. That it is easy to admit defeat, but that to pick yourself back up with the help of family and friends throwing you life lines can be rewarding in its own right.

So fare thee well friends of the past; thanks for the help, love and support. Watch out friends of the future for good times and bad times are coming at you, of that I am certain. And for you, those dear sweet fools that have had my back and are still along for the ride, buckle your seat belts. I am sure that the roller coaster has much more track and that its sure to be an interesting adventure; one filled with hills and valleys, loves and losses, joys and sorrows.

At a stop-loss,

My name is Natasha and its the year 2008!

To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known

This Sunday at church Pernell shared with us a video based on the scripture about the woman at the well. It spoke to me in a way that I can't even really describe... Here is the link on youtube
Hope that you are able to ask and give water this week.

Where or Where Did the Summer Go?

I cannot believe that summer is more then halfway over already. It just seems like yesterday that it was starting... I hope that you all are enjoying your time in the sun and that you continue to make memories that will last you in the cold months to come...

Preocupied Peace

So lately my mind has been preocupied to say the least. Worry and stress right there on the forefront of my wee little brain. However I can honestly say that over the last 24 hours I have experienced peace. As I was comming home from work late last night I randomly ran into work friends on the bus and it occured to me that I work with some crazies... but that we/they form our/their own little caring community. And I think that is pretty great! Its not very often that you like and start to care for the people that you work with the way our society is.
Secondly walking home I walked past a Lilac tree. There is something about the smell of lilac's that brings peace to my soul. If only for a fleeting moment.
It reminds me that we need to relish in those small fleeting moments of peace or restoration to our souls. For it is these small things that will remind us of the light in the darkness.
It will remind us of the compassion and love that God has for us. It will heal us when we aren't even aware of quite how broken we are.
I hope that all who read this will be able to smell their lilac's this week!

Never Fully Understood

I don't think I ever really understood the ramifications of what one action/accident has.

For those of you reading this that have no idea what is prompting the writing of this I suppose I should explain a little first.

Last Wednesday I was in a car accident. ( I wasn't hurt and am ok)

But its amazing to me what it changes. The effects that it has on everything... how emotional it is for everyone. How tiring, scary, unsettling, and just down right awful.

I am thankful that no one was hurt. I am more thankful for amazing and compassionate friends.

I am scared, nervous, worried, thankful,loved, cared for, anxious and unsure.

One accident. Millions of emotions. One action. Multiple reactions.

One girl... a mess.

My Trip to the US

As many of you know or may have guessed I am a bit of a home body. What I mean by that is that I haven't really been anywhere all that exciting and generally stay in my own little bubble. 

Well, a few weeks ago I went on a little trip to the US. I started in Toronto, flew to Charlotte, North Carolina, then flew to Fayetteville, Arkansas.

My grandfather had been vacationing there for the month of March and he picked me up from the airport and we drove to the Promise Land Resort, located off of Bull Shoals Lake. 

I am sorry to say that I fell asleep on the way to the resort... but a girl needs her beauty rest after being up for almost 24 straight hours.

I did see some amazing views... it was spring like there... beautiful dogwood trees, mistletoe growing in the tops of trees, tons and tons of deer and many others. 

I also experienced the infamous Cracker Barrel, and Bob Evans... ate the white gravy, biscuits and delicious fried apples.

I had a great time... on the drive back I got to use my geography skills by reading state maps and all I have to say about that is that I am thankful that we didn't get lost.

I feel like I have seen a little bit more of the world. I guess traveling (especially going through 10 states in 5 days) will do that to you. The picture is of the resort looking out to the lake. I haven't gotten my own pictures developed yet, soon though! 

Now I have the traveling bug... I wonder where I should go next???

Finished

So I have finished my first and second Chemo Cap. Now what is a chemo cap you might ask?... Well a Chemo Cap is something that I have been knitting lately for charity. Basically how  it works is people have donated yarn to be used for charity. My friend and I have been using it to knit caps for chemo patients. Basically what happens is we knit them and my friend takes them to a place where they distribute them... its pretty cool. I get to learn to do something new and it goes to a good cause. Plus we get to come up with some cool and crazy looking hats.

I have gotten right into or rather on the knitting wagon again... I am also working on an afghan and some scarfs.

I mean what's a girl to do when there is like 3 feet of freaking snow outside?

To Use or Not to Use

So I was minding my p's and q's the other day at work when a guy came into the store and while checking out noticed that I had a Nalgene bottle on the counter. He proceeded to inform me that I shouldn't be using it as many retailers have been pulling them off of the shelves because they have been recalled. They apparently are being recalled because a component in the plastic is secreting into the liquid that you drink and has some pretty serious side effects. So the question is do you you keep drinking out of something that will or may be causing you harm... I mean I still use the microwave, sit in the sun and eat bad food.... How bad is it really?
I found a link to the globe and mail that has an article with some more information.
My moral jury is still out on this one though.

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky . Not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease
is located among millions and millions of cows in America,
but we haven't got a clue where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.

Really Long Time

So its been a really long time since I blogged and I thought I would correct it by telling you about my trip to visit a friend of mine that I also hadn't seen in a very long time.

So last weekend I did a spur of the moment thing. I took an 16+ hour journey to visit my friend Bradley and his wife Christine. It was the first time in about 3-4 years that I had seen Bradley and the first time ever that I met his wife.
It was a really good time. Bradley is in the Military. He is apart of the Royal Canadian Dragoons. He did a tour in Kandahar Afaganastan last year which he had lots to talk about.(Both good and bad) It was very eye opening for me in a lot of ways but also cool to meet his wife and catch up. I am still recouperating from the bus rides there and back but as Bradley said its nothing like being in a tank overseas. (just a das of perspective)
I have some other pictures of the tanks and such that I got to see in the hanger, and maybe if you are lucky I will actually remember to post again and will have them up here.

This trip made me think and process a lot of stuff....And I want to express my appreciation for those who have risked their lives for our Country. I also wish to express my condolences to the families who have lost people, and to the families who go without their loved ones for months at a time while they are on tour. It takes some kind of super strength to do what you do.

On a side note, I also wanted to mention how deeply blessed I am to have a warm house to live in and clothes to wear. Along my journey I was in TO and was put face to face again with how much homelessness is an issue. Last weekend it wasn't as cold as this one, and I just hope and pray that everyone makes it through safe.

Thats all....

Holidays so Far....

So I am writing this post in the very chilly Barrie. It is freaking FREEZING up here batman.
Anyway, I thought that I would write a brief list of some of the interesting things I have done so far,

• Took a bus from Hamilton to Kitchener where it hit me just how much homelessness is an issue.
• Met up with Grandma Jane for the long drive to Chatsworth where my super great Grandfather had warm chicken stew waiting.
• Slept in, did a whole lot of nothing, went for a walk in some pretty great clothing (pictures will be posted when I get back to Hamilton)
• Sorry in advance to all my veggie head/animal activist friends out there for this one... but, I helped my Grandfather and his friend Atch who had shot a deer prepare and package the venison.
• Walked along a Remembrance Day parade and then to an open air service

• Hung out with My uncle and watched a movie....

So far its been a pretty good holiday... only a few more days left but don't worry there is still lots of crazy family to visit! More events and pictures posted soon.

Almost on Holidays

So I only have one more shift at work and then I am on Holidays for 6 days, WHOO HOOO!
The last few weeks have been crazy busy but not too shabby.... good times last weekend with Jenny Jo's housewarming and Jr Youth group. Sorry that I missed the art opening though.
I have the feeling that my time off is also going to be mad crazy busy... but I am looking forward to spending some time with the fam.

Freeway Retreat

Some pictures from the retreat... I had a blast as I hope everyone that was there did... there are lots more pictures that will evenutally make their way onto facebook or here but these ones are some of my favourites. Top is Lucas and I, we were car buddies on the way to and from the retreat... we spent time making super hero's such as Super Biff and Ball Boy and ate tons of candy. Next is Melissa and Miranda... love them for letting me take pictures even with the super bright flash. Next is most of the crew (missing Pernell who is taking photo) on our hike on the last day... it was sooo beautiful. Followed by the picture of the two Luke's how cute are they.... And lastly one of Pernell and Eden also very adorable. I enjoyed so much hanging out with you all. Thanks for the thoughts, discussions, laughs and memories!

Guess Who

Not just your neighbourhood Spiderman!

Happy Thanksgiving (Belated but Sincere)

T'was the night of Thanksgiving,

But I just couldn't sleep.

I tried counting backwards,

I tried counting sheep.

The leftovers beckoned,

The dark meat and white.

I fought the temptation,

With all of my might.

Tossing and turning,

with anticipation.

The thought of a snack

became infatuation.

So I raced to the kitchen,

flung open the door,

And gazed at the fridge,

full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey,

and buttered potatoes,

pickles and carrots,

beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling,

so plump and so round,

'til all of a sudden,

I rose off the ground.

I crashed through the ceiling,

floating in to the sky,

with a mouthful of pudding,

and a handful of pie.

But I managed to yell

as I soared past the trees,

"Happy eating to all"

pass the cranberries, please!!

May your stuffing be tasty,

May your turkey be plump.

May your potatoes and gravy

have nary a lump.

May your yams be delicious,

May your pies take the prize.

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off of your thighs !!

Stories and thoughts on people from the last little while....

Benji:
About 2 weeks ago a customer came into the store absolutely furious that we said he had not returned his movie, and suggesting that maybe it was misplaced either in his home or somewhere in the store could he go home and check and we would double check the store as well, figuring that it would turn up eventually... he started swearing, yelling and the like and basically making an ass of himself... Upon me asking him to leave, he calls me a bunch of really nice names... he storms out. A few days later he makes his way back into the store still upset (you could tell) but he doesn't say anything... he proceeds to go up and down the aisles unitl he actually finds the movie (it was in the freaking TV section)...Mistakes happen I realize and I apologize to the guy who says nothing.... Another few days go by and Benji comes back into the store to apologize for what he said to me and how he acted... moral of the story.... don't result to cussing and namecalling as a first option when there is a problem...it usually will work itself out and then its just weird.

Krista:
Krista the wonderful person that she is went up to Barrie with me on Sunday to take the family's pictures...it was entertaining to say the least... its a little nerve racking to have your two worlds (Hamilton and Barrie) intermix like that... I am sure that the photo's will be great and I look forward to looking at them... It had been like 10 years since my mom, brother and I had our pics taken together and we have never done a whole family picture so it was fun....
THANK YOU KRISTA YOU ROCK!!!!!!!

Chuck:
Chuck is someone who used to go to the youth group way back in the day. It's amazing to me how we can go soo long without seeing them and then start to hang around again and realize how much you miss that person...Chuck is awesome and I look forward to hanging out with him...thanks for your friendship.

Bradley:
Bradley is a friend of mine who I got to know really well in a time in my life that was really bad. He is in the military in some capacity and recently I have been able to talk to him because he was on post-traumatic stress leave after returning from Afganastan. His life is soo different and he has opened my eyes in soo many ways to what has gone on over there. I am hoping to hook up with him sometime within the next week or so... he is supposed to be comming to Hamilton to handle a fallen officers affairs...its funny how you have people in your life that you can talk to everyday about random things got months, years without speaking and pick right up again... thats the way it is with us and I look forward to seeing him.

I am sure that there are others that I could mention here, like hanging out with Melissa and helping her get her class set up, chillin' at the Goodyears, chopping wood at my grandpa's, missing Kevin, all the crazy people from work... but thats all for now folks

Thoughts

So as I sit here in the wee hours of the morning it hits me that I am blessed beyond measure. I have great friends, I attend an amazing church that I love being a part of, and I know that my family will always be there for me. And it occurs to me.... man I don't want to screw any of that up.
They last few weeks have been absolutely great with hanging out with people and actually thinking about the future a bit.... but I mostly I am scared.
I am scared to put myself out there, to actually make and achieve goals (besides the laundry)to actual start to live life instead of figuring out what I want to do with it.
But where do you start? How do you flip that switch and go for it not knowing what that it is?
I am not too sure if any of this makes sense but hey its like 3am what makes sense now anyway.
Thank you all for bearing with me as I put out there my big questions on life... I feel like this is a time of change and although I have absolutely no idea what or when any changes are going to occur I am praying that they will be good. That God will be present in them and that I can continue doing it with all you all.

Sidenotes, Happy belated birthday to the baby bro the big 1-5! Happy Birthday Chloe!

Warm Fuzzies

So I know its been a while since I posted but hey thats the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

The reason why I post this is because I had two great experiences today that I wanted to share with you all and make a challenge to everyone out there in blog land.

I think that we need to receive and give warm fuzzies to each other more often. Now for those of you wondering I haven't completley lost my mind... warm fuzzies do exsist... they exsist in kind words, encouragement, uplifting, thank yous and affirmation....

At work today I was affirmed by the owner of the company... kinda caught me off guard but its nice to see that someone recognizes the time and effort you put into your work....I also received an email of thanks that wasn't necessary but appreciated .... these two things got me to thinking (I know you all smelt the burning smell right??) how easy it is to get and give the warm fuzzies to those around you...

So here is the deal today or tomorrow or whenever you read this... take 5 minutes of your time and randomly or not so randomly thank, acknowledge or praise, encourage or flat out love one person.... you will feel the warm fuzzies start to creep up as you think of how great they are and they will feel them too. IF you are really nuts keep doing it... every day pick a new person...or every week send an email to an old friend... spread the warm fuzzies....

Side note the pic is of some of the great people I work with....Left to Right is Bobby, Sam, Shannell and Jenn (MIA is Sue).... Just thinking of how crazy they are makes me smile...

Warm fuzzies to you all

Platform 9 3/4

So I just finished reading a book and in part of it there is a reference to Harry Potter and the platform at the train station that they use to board the train to take them to Hogwarths.

"There is a solid brick wall between the cold logic of platform 9 and platform 10- but if you run at it the right way, you break through into another world; a magically messy world of compound fractions. If logic rules the day, our world is lost. But if there is another world between the lines, a world in which a kindly headmaster can declare us safe, then there is hope. That's magic. That's spirituality. That's resurrection!" Gerard Kelly

Ever have one of those moments where its like EUREKA! it makes sense.... for some reason this little paragraph helped me make more sense of the magic that is God this week....I hope that it makes you think too.